"her status says shes waiting for her sweatpants to dry so she can watch a movie. its safe to say shes let herself go"

"you scream freshman, just letting you know"

"what do you do in this game?"
"you acquire killer bunnies to obtain the magical carrot"

"when i see a slow moving elderly person it always gives me mixed emotions. sometimes i feel bad keeping my pace and walking past them and other times i feel the need to portray my youthfulness and pick up my pace to quickly go by them."

"Juniors that put up college hand signs in pictures: hope you dont get in and all these pics are embarrassing reminders" 

"looks like its gonna be one of those days where you always feel you have a booger. cool"

"but seriously , i really hope Kale never performs the song he sings on his facebook. cause ive watched it enough times to sing along. and itd be really awkward if i sang along to a song im supposed to be hearing for the first time"

"oh and i think i have a heart murmur. just throwing that out there. not really sure what a heart murmur is though..."

"Step Up 3. Worst movie ever. I didnt know if it was serious or if they were making fun of dance movies. Didnt see it in 3d but you could tell which parts were supposed to be. Let me put this into perspective: one of the 3d scenes was they were standing over some air/wind thing that blew their icees into the air towards the camera. Seriously. Their. Icees."

"I do NOT like boys that run track. Track boys = douche bags. I call them track bags. I can admire a nice triple jumper though."

"I was hanging out with him and then it hit me. I've totally stalked him on facebook before."